


I See Stars in Your Eyes When We're Halfway There

by Dancing_Adrift



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-27 00:09:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21382864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift
Summary: Jensen's family spends most summer weekends away at their cabin on a lake in the northwoods. Jared's family owns the cabin next door. Jared and Jensen meet one night under the stars. This is their story.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 16
Kudos: 80





	I See Stars in Your Eyes When We're Halfway There

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [J2_reversebang](https://j2-reversebang.livejournal.com/) based off the lovely art prompt by [emmatheslayer](https://emmatheslayer.livejournal.com/) (leave her some love on her [art post!](https://emmatheslayer.livejournal.com/613752.html))
> 
> Title from the song ["Beautiful People"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9oYAk5Vfqw) by Ed Sheeran.
> 
> A/N: The timeline of this fic jumps around, back and forth between pre-teen/teen J2 and young adult/adult J2, over the course of their growing relationship. Hopefully it's not too jarring! Thank you as always for reading; I hope you enjoy! <3

\---2004---

Jensen collapsed into the camp chair, breathing heavily. His neck rested awkwardly against the narrow canvas backing as he looked up at the stars, focusing on catching his breath and steadying his heartbeat. He glanced down at Jared and smiled fondly.

"Who would've ever thought we'd end up here, huh Jare'?"

Jared grinned and wiped off his mouth, pushing himself up to standing and brushing the dirt from his knees. He tucked himself back into his pants and zipped his jeans. With a few quick kicks at the ground he covered up the mess he'd made by their feet and then sat in the chair next to Jensen.

"Well, I like to think I did," Jared said smugly. He reached over to grab Jensen's hand, his thumb stroking over Jensen's knuckles in a way that made him shiver.

"Okay, fair," Jensen admitted, laughing into the soft kiss Jared pressed to his lips. Just one of the side effects of Jared (not to mention the mind-blowing, pardon the pun, orgasm he'd just given Jensen): Jensen always seemed to have a smile on his face.

"I sure am glad we got here eventually though," Jared said, quiet and meaningful.

Jensen intertwined their fingers and gave Jared's hand a squeeze before falling back into the chair with a sigh and gazing up at the stars again.

"Yeah. Me too, babe. Me too." Then he shut his eyes, enjoying the cool breeze of late summer as it came up off the lake, listening to the gentle crackle of their slowly dying campfire accompanied by the occasional calling of a loon. Jared's hand was warm and solid in his and all was - finally, inevitably - right in Jensen's world.

\---1993---

Jensen slouched down in his lawn chair, staring hard at the red-orange glow of the embers in the fire pit. He shivered as a late night breeze swept across his bare arms, the high summer temps dropping with the sun and the fire having long since stopped putting off enough heat to justify him being outside in a thin t-shirt and gym shorts. Even so, Jensen was kept artificially warm thanks to the pilfered alcohol running through his bloodstream.

There came a loud crack from the woods behind him and Jensen jumped, suddenly much more awake, the low, content buzz fleeing his system in the face of being caught drinking when he knew he wasn't supposed to. But rather than one of his parents, long ago gone to bed and leaving fifteen-year-old Jensen to tend the dying fire, Jensen spun around to find a wide-eyed, gangly-limbed kid staring back at him.

"Jesus! Where the h--heck did you come from? You scared the crap out of me."

The kid, sporting a shaggy haircut and baby fat clinging to his red cheeks still despite the length of a body that spoke of recent growth, looked down at his feet. He shifted his weight with his arms held behind his back then darted his eyes back to Jensen. His gaze was apologetic, but fierce.

"Didn't mean to scare you," he said quietly. He straightened and looked back over his shoulder. "Was just exploring. We just bought the cabin next door," he explained.

"Oh. That's cool," Jensen said. He relaxed back into his chair as his heartbeat started to calm again. He side-eyed the kid. "Kinda late to be out exploring though, don't ya think?"

The kid shrugged but said nothing.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "You wanna sit?" He gestured at the ring of empty canvas chairs that surrounded the campfire.

"Sure."

"So what's your name? I'm Jensen, by the way."

The kid folded himself into the chair right next to Jensen and shot him a shy smile. "I'm Jared. Padalecki."

"Pada what now?" Jensen giggled at the ridiculous last name.

"Padalecki," Jared repeated, frowning slightly at Jensen.

"Oh. Of course." Jensen tried schooling his features into a serious expression but it just made him laugh harder.

Jared huffed. "It's not _that_ funny."

"Okay, no, you're right," Jensen agreed, wiping tears from his eyes. Jared just stared at him.

"You're weird," he stated flatly.

"Says the kid creeping through the woods by himself in the middle of the night," retorted Jensen.

Jared's cheeks went redder and he crossed his arms, turning away from Jensen with a hurt look on his face. Jensen sobered up at that.

He reached a hand out to rest on Jared's shoulder.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make fun of you. I'm just a little tired," he tried explaining. The few sips of his dad's whiskey he'd snuck after his parents were asleep were probably mostly to blame, but Jensen wasn't about to admit that to a kid who definitely was at least a few years younger than himself.

Jared eyed him warily, but after a few moments the tension fell from his shoulders. Jensen settled back in his chair and watched Jared watch the fading embers. 

"See anything cool while you were out exploring?" He kept his voice carefully measured, just enough inflection to show Jared that he was actually interested in the answer.

Jared swung his legs over the edge of the chair, kicking a little at the ground as he tilted his head to look up at the sky.

"Mostly just the stars," he answered. "They're really clear out here."

Jensen smiled. "Yeah," he agreed. "They are."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, gazes turned up, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Then Jensen shifted and looked back at Jared. He grinned at the softly awed expression on Jared's face.

"Hey Jared."

Jared dropped his eyes to meet Jensen's. "Yeah?"

"You seen the stars from the lake yet?"

Jared's face wrinkled in confusion. "From the lake?"

"Yeah. Like… we have a dock. The stars are even _better_ out there. Wanna check it out?"

Jared's excited smile outshone entire _galaxies_ as he followed Jensen down to the shore.

\---1993---

The first time Jensen slept over at Jared's was one of the last weekends before school started up again, the same summer that they met.

"Hello?" Jensen spoke into the handset, still eyeing his mother warily from when she'd told him the phone call was for him.

"Jensen! Hi!"

"Oh, hey, Jared." Jensen smiled. He and Jared had spent a lot of time together since Jared had stumbled upon Jensen's late-night bonfire. At first Jensen had been a little unsure about hanging out with a kid so much younger than him, but Jared was hard not to like and he sort of felt like the younger brother Jensen had never had. They'd easily fallen into being friends, rarely ever observing the four years in age that separated them.

There'd never been a reason to talk on the phone before, though; usually one of them would just walk next door to see if the other was up for doing something.

Jensen glanced out the sliding glass doors that looked out over the yard and beyond to the lake. The whole scene was dark and grey and wet, as it was currently pouring rain outside. He barely suppressed a sigh at the wasted summer day. 

"What's up, bud?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over? I brought All-Stars with me this weekend, thought maybe we could play each other." Jared's parents had given him a Super Nintendo- a long anticipated gift - for his birthday earlier that summer and he and Jensen had been looking forward to the release of the compilation of Super Mario games ever since. Jared must have gotten it right away, as it had finally hit shelves that week.

"Dude, yes," Jensen answered, grinning widely. He looked up at his mom who was still standing nearby and watching him with a small smile on her face. "Uh, let me ask real quick though."

"My mom says you can stay for dinner, if you want," Jared added. "And you could stay overnight too, if your parents say it's okay. We have plenty of room."

"Okay," Jensen answered, excitement bubbling in his chest at the idea. He'd been going kind of stir-crazy that morning without being able to leave the cabin. He lowered the phone to rest on his shoulder and addressed his mom. "Can I go over to Jared's? His mom says I can stay for dinner and for the night, if that's okay with you."

His mom's eyes twinkled. "Sure, sweetie."

Jensen held the phone back up to his ear. "Okay, I can come over!"

"Awesome!"

"Ask him if you need to bring anything with you," Jensen's mom prompted, nudging him in the arm as she turned toward the kitchen.

"What should I bring with? I don't have, like, a sleeping bag or anything…"

"We've got lots of sheets and blankets and stuff. Mom says we can camp in the living room if we want. Or my bed is big enough for both of us, too," Jared answered. "Just, I dunno...regular overnight stuff?"

Jensen looked up as his mom gave a triumphant cry, pulling an unopened bag of Doritos from one of the cupboards. She gave Jensen a significant look and shook the bag at him.

"Okay," Jensen acknowledged Jared's response. "I think I might have some chips I can bring, too."

"Sounds good!" Jared replied cheerfully. "Just come over whenever then!"

"See you soon, Jare'," Jensen said, smiling as he hung up.

\---2003---

The first time Jensen stayed overnight after he and Jared began hooking up was an accident.

He frowned at the early morning light sneaking in through the partially closed blinds, squinting as he looked around the bedroom.

_Oh, shit,_ he thought. He slowly recognized Jared's room - the Star Wars posters on the dark gray walls, the engineering textbooks on top of the dresser, a hoodie from the U left in a maroon pile on the floor. _Shit shit shit…_

Stifling a groan, he carefully extricated himself from Jared who was still sleeping soundly beside him on his stomach, one arm thrown across Jensen's body. Jensen couldn't help but be charmed by the way Jared's lashes fluttered with the slight jostling of the bed, how the sunrise fell golden across his summer-tanned skin.

It had been a long time since they'd seen each other in the vicinity of their parents' cabins. It had been a gradual distancing once Jensen started college, since classes and work had kept him too busy to visit the lake more than a couple of times each summer. It had been more intentional after that, once things had become hurt and broken between him and Jared. Honestly, it was almost a fluke that this thing had started between them at all.

The random running into each other at a gay bar in the city was unexpected, but not unwelcome (as had been the amazingly smooth reconciliation that followed). The kiss after one drink too many in the hall outside the bar's bathroom… that was a revelation. But following Jared back to his apartment near campus? Crossing that line and treating his childhood friend like any other casual hook-up? That had been a mistake.

But it had happened, and afterward - overcome by old fears and insecurities - Jensen had left, grabbing a taxi back to his duplex just as the bars were shutting down, and he'd done his best to forget and move on with his life.

But then it happened again.

And again.

They'd been hooking up with alarming frequency for a couple months now. But until this morning, Jensen had always made sure he was gone before the sun rose. It was just… every time they got together, it was never intentional. And _staying over_ was certainly not in the cards because it just wasn't something they did. They had their own lives - Jared with school, Jensen with work - and those lives were no longer intertwined the way they'd been as kids. Jensen didn't even have a way of contacting Jared short of showing up at his apartment. Them falling in bed together was _never_ supposed to have happened.

At least, not this way. It was never supposed to be something that...didn't matter. Something that was just sex, just two people who were barely friends again, getting off with each other. It was supposed to be different, better. Not like this. But Jensen couldn't stop the pattern, and he'd been too afraid to change a situation that, even if wrong, still made him feel really, really good.

And now Jensen had stayed too long, falling asleep almost as soon as they'd cleaned up.

The problem was, he didn't _want_ to leave. This thing with Jared - the sex, yes, but also the kissing, the talking that preceded the kissing, the ease and familiarity and laughter - it was good. So, so good. When they were together, things felt right, things felt like they made sense.

But Jensen had always left, and Jared had never kept him from leaving, and a week or two later they'd run into each other again and it was almost like every other time just hadn't happened. Like somewhere, a clock got reset, the whiteboard of their interactions erased, and they came together again at square one.

It was seriously starting to mess with Jensen's head, and he needed to get out of Jared's apartment _right now,_ before he woke up and realized that Jensen hadn't already been gone like every time before.

Jensen gathered his clothes as quickly and silently as he could - sparing one last glance at Jared, still sleeping peacefully, his gorgeous, naked body twisted in the sheets and looking so much like everything Jensen had ever wanted - before hastily dressing in the living room and shutting the apartment door with a resounding click of the lock behind him.

\---1994---

When Jensen turned sixteen, his parents gifted him a gorgeous 1982 Chevy Silverado pickup truck. It was meticulously maintained without a spot of rust, a bright cherry red with a wide, white stripe down each side. That summer, he drove it nearly every day.

During the week, he drove to and from work - a part-time job at a landscaping center a few miles from home - and the high school gym. Since he was still on his provisional license he couldn't drive a bunch of friends around, and it was the same for all his friends, so they spent most evenings the same way they had prior to getting licenses - at each other's houses playing video games or maybe some pickup basketball or street hockey.

But at the cabin, there was only Jared, and Jensen _was_ allowed to have _one_ non-relative passenger in the vehicle with him. So Jensen drove himself up every weekend and he and Jared spent most of that summer riding around in Jensen's truck.

"Do you ever just think about the fact that there are people alive today who have actually walked on the moon?" 

Jensen turned to look at Jared where he was lying beside him in the bed of his truck. They were at the drive-in theater the next town over and the credits for Angels in the Outfield were playing from the truck's radio through the cab window behind them, but as soon as the movie had finished, they'd turned their attention to the stars.

"Can't say that I do, Jare'." Jensen smiled at his friend, a warm, fond feeling growing in his chest at the look on Jared's face. He always had the same expression whenever he looked at the night sky. It was soft and awed, yet laced with a calm sort of determination. It was special, and Jensen was happy to provide opportunities where he could share these kinds of moments with Jared.

Jared shuffled so he was lying on his side, planting an elbow in their blanket nest and resting his head in his hand. The look he gave Jensen lost some of its softness, but the fierce determination remained. It might have made Jensen squirm if anyone else looked at him that way, but that was just always how Jared regarded him.

"Well, there are, and I think it's pretty cool." Jared's gaze moved beyond Jensen, over his shoulder, going distant. His expression furrowed in thought for a long moment. When he focused again, his eyes found Jensen.

"I wanna do that," he declared quietly.

"What, be an astronaut?" Jensen smiled.

Jared shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess." He picked at a loose thread on one of the blankets. "Or, I dunno. Maybe someone who figures out how to get more astronauts out there. Space is just… it's so big, ya know?" He flopped onto his back again, his long hair falling like sunbursts around his face.

Jensen laughed again. "I think that might be the understatement of the century, Jay."

Jared rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Jen, you know what I mean. Don't you think it's kind of crazy that we haven't been back? We should be putting people on other _planets_ by now."

Jensen finally rolled onto his back as well, smiling up at the sky. "I think you've been watching too much Star Trek, is what I think."

"Oh my god, you are the wooooorst," Jared whined, halfheartedly slapping Jensen in the arm.

"The worst, huh?" Jensen sat up and reached for Jared's ribs, where he was desperately ticklish. "Who paid for your ticket tonight, huh?"

He poked and prodded as Jared wheezed. "Who's driven you everywhere you've wanted to go this whole summer?"

He dodged Jared's flailing arms and ignored his breathless begging to stop. "Who sat through The Lion King a second time even though you knew it made me cry when we first saw it? Huh? Huh?"

Jared just squirmed and laughed helplessly, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Jensen pinched and squeezed a few more strategic places a couple times then finally eased away.

When Jared regained his composure he glared at Jensen, but Jensen could see the grin trying to peek through.

"Ugh, fine. Maybe you don't completely suck."

Jensen stretched his hands out again, fingers wiggling threateningly, and Jared shrieked and jumped away.

"Alright, alright! You're not the worst!"

"Darn right, kiddo. I'm the best and you know it." Jensen leaned back, propped up with his arms safely behind him.

Jared ducked his head, smiling softly. When he looked back up, he looked at Jensen just exactly the same way he looked at the stars. Jensen sucked in a hitching breath; it was unusually intense.

"Yeah, you are. You're my best friend, Jen."

Jensen felt himself blush, but he grinned. "Aw. You're my best friend too, Jare'." He reached out and ruffled Jared's hair. "Even if you are an ungrateful brat sometimes."

Jared laughed, rightfully abashed. Jensen sat back and studied his friend quietly for a moment.

"You know, I think you'd be a great astronaut or whatever, Jare'. Whatever you wanna be. And I can't wait to get to see it."

Jared punched him weakly in the shoulder. "Ugh, shut up."

Jensen just grinned. "Seriously, Jay. You're gonna be great, and I'm gonna be there to watch it happen."

"You better be," Jared muttered, turning his attention back to the night sky. Jensen smiled and settled in again beside him.

\---2003---

Jared had his first beer the summer he turned thirteen. Jensen knew this because he'd been the one to give it to him. At seventeen, Jensen's parents had given up caring if he drank as long as it was with them at the cabin, so he'd simply shared a sip of his Busch Light with Jared after the adults had all gone to bed.

The memory of Jared's face, crinkled up in disgust as he sputtered and spat, was coming back to Jensen in sharp focus, years and years later, in startling contrast to what he was seeing now.

Now, just down the bar from Jensen and sipping a pint of something dark and frothy like it was nothing, was none other than Jared Padalecki.

Jensen masked his surprise at seeing Jared - God, had it been three years already? - by taking a drink of his whiskey coke. He watched over the rim of his glass as Jared smiled at the blond man he was chatting (and probably trying to hook-up) with.

Jensen recognized the flare of jealousy immediately, this time. It hit him right in the gut and turned the alcohol sour in his stomach. It didn't matter how long it had been since he last saw Jared; he was still beautiful - even more so now, if Jensen was being honest - and he was still _Jensen's, dammit_. Except Jensen knew he had no claim, not really. Hell, he'd probably even lost the right to call him his friend after so much time lost between them. He hadn't exactly made an effort to keep in touch after that last summer.

Jared would have only just turned old enough to drink legally that year, Jensen knew. The last time they'd seen each other Jared was eighteen and newly graduated from high school, all set to attend the same university in the fall where Jensen had just finished his bachelor's degree. Jensen supresssed a wince - it was not a particularly happy memory. It had been the only time they'd ever fought, when Jared had suggested they give being something more than friends a try, and Jensen had panicked and reacted...poorly.

Jensen had been unable to admit it at the time how he was feeling - in his defense, he didn't _know_, hadn't yet figured out that he maybe also liked guys, that he maybe liked _Jared_. Liked him the same way he'd only ever thought he liked girls.

But he'd been confused and feeling lost and Jared had been so...steady, so unwaveringly sure, and Jensen, not knowing how to deal, had essentially run away, turning his back on one of the best friends he'd ever had.

And now, with Jensen firmly settled in his job as a licensed landscape architect for one of the largest urban developers in the city - and finally in full acceptance of his sexuality - and Jared on the cusp of his fourth year of undergrad, they had somehow both ended up in the same LGBT+ friendly bar.

Jensen squared his shoulders and took a deep breath. He swallowed the last of his drink while quietly assessing the man who had been his teenage best friend.

Jared had grown up so nicely. He had to have gained a few more inches in height, and he'd definitely bulked up. Jensen admired the way the black t-shirt he wore stretched across his broad chest and hugged his biceps, the deep vee of the neck highlighting his throat and the dip between his collarbones, both glistening with sweat.

Okay, Jensen'd had enough time to consider it and he could fully admit it now - Jared was _hot_. And yeah, Jensen was attracted to him. He hadn't gone through the last few years without even thinking about Jared; that would be impossible. His last, charged, terrifying conversation with Jared had given him plenty of room for reflection. He may have only ever previously thought of Jared as his best friend that was almost more like a brother to him, but he'd eventually had to admit to himself that maybe he needed to reevaluate his feelings.

Jensen set his empty glass on the bar and pushed himself off his stool, his mind made up. He'd had enough time thinking - it was time to _do_ something. Step one: see if Jensen couldn't pull Jared's attention away from the blond and focus it on Jensen instead. Jensen had no real intentions beyond that, no expectation of how the night might go - bare minimum, he just wanted his best friend back.

Jensen steeled himself and strode forward, determined to at least appear confident and sure - mature, unafraid. Everything he hadn't been when he'd turned Jared away all those years ago. Everything he was, even if still subconsciously, hoping he could be for Jared now.

Maybe there was still a chance that Jared could be his again.

\---1995---

"Come on, Jay, let's go. I wanna go sit by the fire!" Jensen wrapped his beach towel tighter around his shoulders and shifted on his feet, bouncing slightly on the dock in an attempt to warm up. His hair, which he'd started growing out again as soon as graduation was over, dripped water in his eyes.

Jared pulled himself onto the dock and reached for his towel, shaking his own long hair out like a dog would.

"Ugh, seriously Jare'?" Jensen complained, hopping out of range. Jared just smirked up at him, the little shit.

"Quit whining, ya big baby. And you promised to watch for Mars with me." After a quick rubdown, Jared folded up his towel and set it near the edge of the dock, plopping his butt right down on it and sticking his feet back in the water with a splash. The ripples stretched out over the otherwise smooth surface, a riot of dark pinks and oranges reflected from the sun hovering just at the horizon. It was stunning, but it also meant the heat of the day was all but gone and Jensen was _freezing_.

Jared patted the empty patch of dock next to him and shot a brilliant smile over his shoulder and Jensen knew he would stay outside all night if Jared asked him to. He sat down next to him.

"I thought Mars wasn't supposed to show until after sunset," Jensen said, just to be contrary. He _was_ still cold, after all. And the mosquitoes were gonna start coming out any minute.

"Oh my god. Shut up and enjoy the moment, Jen." Jared nudged him with his shoulder, a small smile still playing on his lips.

Jensen fell silent, happily; he was never nearly as put-out when it came to Jared as he pretended to be. And it was admittedly a gorgeous evening. He leaned back and soaked it all in. The pinks darkened to purples, the sun slipped below the water's edge. Frogs in a nearby swamp started their nightly chorus, and, if he watched really carefully, every so often Jensen could see the ripple of fish feeding on the bugs that hovered near the lake's surface. There was a slight breeze that made him shiver, but Jensen just scooted closer to Jared who was like a human furnace and seemed to radiate heat no matter what the weather.

"Should be able to see it by the moon soon, just there," Jared pointed at the crescent just starting to be visible.

They sat in companionable silence as dusk grew. Jensen moved closer to Jared, earning him a sideways glance, but Jared didn't pull away or ask what he was doing. In fact, when Jared was still looking down at his feet playing in the water well after the moon had risen and Jensen could make out a bright spot that was possibly the Red Planet, Jensen grew concerned.

"You okay, Jay? Usually you'd be waxing poetic right about now, talking my ear off with an encyclopedia's worth of Mars facts. What's up?"

A guilty look flashed over Jared's face and his whole body tensed. Jensen squinted at him in the dying light.

"Seriously, dude, what's going on? You know you can talk to me if something's wrong, right?"

"Yeah, Jen, I know. I just…" Jared shifted, lifting his feet out of the lake and tucking his knees into his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs.

"If you're worried about me leaving for college, you don't have to worry, dude. I'm still gonna see you here like I always do. It's not like we ever see each other during the school year anyway, so it won't be all that different."

Jared scoffed. "That's not it."

"Psh, what do you mean, 'That's not it'? You're gonna miss me, Padalecki, admit it."

Jensen couldn't see it well, but he could practically feel it when Jared rolled his eyes.

"I won't miss all the indecision and whining about college applications, that's for damn sure."

"Language, dude."

"Oh, fuck you, Ackles," Jared laughed.

"You wish," Jensen responded, practically instinctual. But for some reason, rather than continue their dumb teenage banter, Jared choked and stopped laughing instead.

"Dude, you okay?" Jensen asked. He huffed, unsure. "I was just joking, you nerd."

"You shouldn't joke about that," Jared said, uncharacteristically grim.

"What? Why not? That's, like, the oldest comeback in the book, dude. It doesn't mean anything."

"Because I'm gay!"

Jared's loud whisper seemed to echo all the way across the starlit lake.

"You… what?" Jensen stared at Jared, stunned. At least he had the presence of mind to keep his voice down. "You're… gay? For real?"

"Yeah," Jared confirmed, voice smaller than Jensen had ever heard. "At least, I'm pretty sure. It's not like I've got any sort of experience to go off of or anything."

Jensen laughed softly at that. "I'm pretty sure that's not how it works, Jare'. You just are what you are. Sounds to me like you've got enough proof coming from somewhere if you're telling me about it though. And like, that's cool. I don't know if you were planning to tell me or not, but I'm glad you did."

"Yeah?" Jared asked, glancing up at Jensen with a hesitant but hopeful look.

"Yeah." Jensen nudged him gently where they were still pressed close. "And, uh, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"Nah," Jared said, smile glowing white in the dim moonlight. "If you can't make sex jokes with your best friend, who can you, right?"

"Right," Jensen laughingly confirmed. "Now, can we please go change into dry clothes before I freeze my balls off?"

Jared's laughter as he raced to shore rang out over the entire lake, filling up all the dark spaces with its brightness.

\---2004---

Jensen tugged Jared's shirt the rest of the way off and shoved him down onto his bed, immediately jumping on to straddle his thighs and start working at unbuttoning his pants. Jared surged up to kiss him, wrapping one huge hand around the back of Jensen's neck and running the other along his ribs to grip his waist.

Jensen moaned into the kiss and rocked his hips forward, seeking friction. He shivered when their bare chests rubbed against each other. His hands grappled at Jared's chest and shoulders, seeking out a solid place to hold onto as he bucked in Jared's lap.

Jared pulled just far back enough to smile at him, dimples peeking. "Okay there, Jen?"

Jensen growled and leaned forward to suck Jared's lower lip into his mouth, grinding down hard. He felt a smug satisfaction when Jared groaned in response and hitched his hips upwards.

"I want you inside me, Jay. Yesterday."

Jared's laugh was low and broken, his voice rough when he said, "I can make that happen." Then he slid both his hands to cup Jensen's ass and just _stood up_, lifting Jensen up with him. Jensen wrapped himself around Jared instinctively and clung tightly as Jared shimmied out of the jeans Jensen had started to remove before he'd gotten distracted by all the kissing.

Somewhere in their years of separation, Jared had gotten _huge_; he was now taller and broader and all around bigger than Jensen, and Jensen had since taken his time exploring every gorgeous inch of him. But tonight he felt a sense of urgency, so when Jared dropped them both back onto the bed, Jensen quickly finished removing his own clothes and immediately reached for the lube to begin opening himself up.

"Shit, Jen, you weren't kidding, huh," Jared said, grabbing the lube from him and slicking up one of his own fingers to join Jensen's two. Jensen let his head fall onto Jared's shoulder and he whined with the increase in pressure.

"Fuck, Jare'. I'd never joke about that. Want you to fuck me _now_."

"Yeah? Right now?" Jared asked, a smirk on his pretty, pink, kiss-bitten lips.

"_Yes_, Jared, I'm ready." Jensen slid their cocks alongside each other to drive home his point and Jared breathed around a curse at the sensation.

"Fuck, okay. Just give me a sec." Jared made to reach for the nightstand for a condom, but Jensen stopped him with a hand around his wrist.

"Can we not...can we go without? This time? I wanna feel you." Jensen knew it was a foolish request, but he wanted _so badly_ for this to mean something, for Jared to be only his. He hadn't thought of a way to broach the subject in the months that they'd continued hooking up but not talked about it. Maybe having sex without protection - or at least bringing up the possibility - would be the catalyst they needed to get that conversation started. Or at the very least give Jensen a feel for what page Jared was on in regards to their relationship.

"You… really?" Jared looked at him with wide eyes. "That's not really the smart decision, Jen."

Jensen shrugged. "I know. But, I mean, I haven't been with anyone but you since we started...whatever this is. And I still get tested regularly and I'm all good."

Jared went very still.

"Are you saying… do you want us to be exclusive?" Jared hadn't sounded so hesitant and unsure since the night he'd come out to Jensen. A fierce, fond sense of protectiveness rose up in Jensen and he vowed right then and there that he'd never be the reason Jared ever sounded so insecure ever again.

"I'm saying there's been no one but you for me since the night you creeped up on me and my midnight bonfire, ya nerd." Jensen bumped noses with Jared, feeling all sorts of flayed open and vulnerable with his confession.

Jared drew in a quick breath. His grip on Jensen's hips tightened as he flexed his hands.

"Okay?" Jensen asked, still nuzzling at Jared's face, pressing kisses to his stubbled jaw.

"Oh yeah," Jared answered, his voice totally shot. "So much more than okay."

Then he lifted Jensen off his lap and entered him in one long, smooth stroke, knocking the breath from Jensen's lungs. Jensen sank down into the utter fullness, letting himself be filled and consumed, totally surrounded by Jared. He rose and fell, again and again, climbing higher with every moment, and when he finally came, Jared finishing right along with him, he swore he saw stars.

\---

Later that night, wrapped in Jared's arms, the covers pulled up snugly over them, Jensen broke the sated silence.

"So, Jay."

"Yeah, Jen?"

Jensen and Jared's parents, once they'd all retired, spent most of their time in the same gated community on the opposite side of the country. Jared's parents had sold their cabin, but Jensen's had kept theirs, renting it out whenever Jensen didn't otherwise feel like staying there. He used it mostly as a retreat when he needed to get away from the city, but he thought maybe it'd be the perfect place to explore his newly redefined relationship with Jared.

It was, after all, where they'd started.

"You wanna go to the cabin with me this summer?"

"I'd love to."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Anna, Lulu, Sammie, and Jen for all your support and aid in writing this fic! <3 <3 <3 <3 Pretty sure I'd never write anything if it weren't for your unending love and encouragement (and feedback & brainstorming sessions whenever I beg for them ;)). Love you guys.
> 
> Thanks to Emily for such a great art prompt, for giving me so much freedom to play, and for being so good to me (read: for being so forgiving when I was still writing the fic on our posting day X'D)
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading! I really do hope you enjoyed Jared and Jensen's story <3


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